What do you do

When you find your child eating a spoonful of dinner and then going to the bathroom to spit it in the toilet?
I am so angered and shocked by this discovery that I can’t even think straight.Aadi didn’t eat her dinner today.It was a hot day and I didn’t force her.I gave her some cold milk instead.When I was winding up the kitchen,for the night..she saw the leftovers and asked for her dinner.By then,it had cooled down a bit and so,I thought may be she wanted to eat.I served her a little veg pulav .She ate a few spoonfuls and then said I am done.I coaxed her a little more.I had served her less than a quarter cup of rice.Surely,she could finish that.She was dancing around,I coaxed her some more,threatened to not talk,she opened her mouth took a big bite and then ran away.I didn’t pay attention,thinking she is playing and will come back for the next bite,which she did.
Normally,I don’t encourage her playing/walking around while eating.She sits on the chair and eats her meals at the table.But today,I was also tired,so didn’t pay attention.Two mins later,DH called me to show the food that she had spit in the toilet!
I was so sad.I am so sad.Is that all my child values food for?We have told her about us being lucky to get food.That its a gift from her beloved “Jai-Jai Bappa”[GOD] and she says yes everytime.Does she even understand it?Or is it that she is trying to please me at no matter what the cost?It saddens me to think that I pressurised her to think and behave so slyly.
Anway,naturally she got a time-out.We told her to sit in her room and think about all the poor kids who didn’t have anything to eat.And when she understood how sad they were,she was to go and say sorry to Jai-Jai Bappa ,for insulting the food he blessed us with..and then say sorry to papa-mamma for wasting the food they worked so hard for.
She came out crying after 2 minutes,I think more because of the punishment,but she went and said sorry for Jai-Jai Bappa and her dad and me.Which makes me wonder again…did she understand anything or is she just aiming to please.
I was still annoyed at bed-time and yelled at her,which made her cry..which made me angry..When we asked her to stop crying/screaming,she ACTUALLY screamed loudly!Defiance??I don’t know..but I don’t want to be the reason,my sweet child turns into a defiant brat.I don’t want her to grow up,thinking that she is good for nothing or not cared for..or that she would be loved only till she kept us happy…BECAUSE,thats so not true.I don’t want her to change..to change to please someone else.
She is sleeping next to me and my heart is breaking into a thousand pieces.Starting tomorrow,I will try to control my temper..I really will.
Edited to add- after she appologised,I sat Aadi on my lap and explained that Daddy worked very hard in the office to get money so that we can buy food.Mumma works very hard in the kitchen,to cook..so that she can eat it.And it makes us very sad when she wastes food like that.She nodded,hugged us and said,she wont do it again..I dunno..what to think!…. Sad 😦

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10 Responses to What do you do

  1. aaww..loads of hugs babe..Aadi is a good kid..she gets it..but she is a kid and these things happen…hang in there..

  2. Goofy Mumma says:

    First off, relax. Take a deep breath. It is not so bad. She did not want to upset you by not eating, but she could not eat it either. Tell her to just tell you next time, and then listen to her. Let her words hold value to you, and then she will learn responsibility. Its OK, she is a child, she will get a bit afraid of elders, just tell her that she can be free and honest with you. I am sure it will work out great, she is such an adorable child anyways!

    And please don’t ever say anything in the heat of the moment, let it all happen after the situation has cooled down, else she won’t understand what you are telling her.

    HUGS trish, its tough being a parent.

  3. Swati says:

    Let go Trish ..she is a small kid and cannot understand the emotions and values behind your thoughts. You explained and she promised she won’t do again..now just let go

  4. Kavya says:

    Just relax Trish.. Aadi is just a kid and kids are tend to do like these sometimes.. She is a very good girl and she will understand gradually..So dont worry.. everything will be alright..

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